I think this will sound a bit different to the rest of the stuff I write here, but basically I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago and it’s been really rough. I personally cannot say much about it publicly and I knew there were rumors and gossip there, but to make it short we simply just didn’t work out and not built for each other. I do have some flaws and imperfections (wouldn’t we all), but I acknowledge those too. Things like this are hard to keep especially when I have so much going on my plate like personal problems and challenges that are fanatically new and absurd to show up, but nonetheless I am grateful for the experience. I constantly grew to understand that everyone has their own set of choices and those choices build them up whether for the good or bad. I cannot control to whatever choice they make but all I can do is to understand and move on.
Last Sunday, I thought of messaging my former leaders from the church and none of them responded, maybe rumors told them or they just simply don’t have the time to talk or simply don’t care like mind your own problem right? At that time I needed some thought from any of them. Instantly I thought of Sister Barbara Kimber Davies, I felt weird about it at first because I’m not really close to her and she might condemn me, but I just felt the thought of texting here. Right there, I get up my courage, texted her and just straight up asking her what’s the best advice she could give of someone on a breakup and betrayal.
Sister Davies said, “Sister, you need to find a place where you can be happy without anyone, then you can add someone, if you find one. People are going to make their choices and will answer for their choices. You only answer for yours. Become an amazing woman, making a difference wherever you go. Leave a list of people who feel loved and know who they are because they know you. You are amazing, morality works… the lessons you needed to learn for the progress your individual spirit needed to make is what its all about. God knows you and will never leave you. He can’t fix what others have done, but he can help you find a way to be happy again. I know it sounds trite, but these hard times will fade in your mind and heart and you might even be grateful as something much better waits for you.”
I wasn’t emotional while reading this, but I felt inspired and hopeful of things for what’s now and then. I knew she was the right person I needed to reach out. I am grateful for her thoughts and choice of words. It meant so much to me that I felt I need to make a little push to myself and be better. Although, there will be more challenges (I hope not for the worst) but I do hope things will go smoothly as God designed.
I can’t say much of my point of view of who’s fault or there, but I do know this I make mistakes and so does the other. There’s no level faults. I think what comes to failure is when you don’t communicate properly and forgive the person. I think that something everyone should work out in a relationship in a very mature matter. I too, need to work that out so in order for me to achieve that I have to write down my thoughts on this website. It could probably work for me and make my time more useful.
Note for my ex: I’m sorry if things didn’t worked out because of my words and choice of actions and I knew it affected you so badly. I want you to know my love for you is strong. I thought of you everyday and I even pray for you everyday. I knew you wanted something more out of the relationship but I failed. I hope one day when we cross paths please think of the good rather the bad, because God doesn’t want prolonged hatred and hatred is a sin, I felt urge to tell you how much I loved you. My feelings will change eventually because we broke up. I thank you for teaching me things before we met and after we ended up our relationship. Your partner will be so lucky to have you and so many things coming for you. I won’t be able to see and witness it, but I could feel that you’ll be alright. Wish you all the best. xx.
For people out there, I don’t care whatever thoughts you have, but may god bless you.
Anyways, thanks for reading this. I do hope everyone gets to experience shared love with someone and continue to move forward.
Jeth
